Misogyny in Public Office

This Women’s Month began with a troubling reminder that objectification of women still finds its way into the highest political institutions. When public officials treat women’s bodies as subjects of commentary, it weakens the dignity that public office is supposed to protect.

What a way to begin Women’s Month.

I did not expect to write about this again so soon. Yet here we are, confronting another elected official who seems unable to grasp the basic standard of decency expected in public office.

During the last election season, I wrote about candidates who reduced women to objects, punchlines, or props in campaign speeches. I stressed that objectification is not humor. It is not charisma. It is not harmless.

Apparently, the message still needs repeating.

In a public forum at the House of Representatives, Quezon City 4th District Representative Bong Suntay narrated how he once saw actress Anne Curtis at a mall. He described her beauty and openly admitted that he felt desire for her, adding that it would remain only in his imagination.

For an ordinary citizen, such a remark may be dismissed as crude. But for a lawmaker speaking in an official forum, it becomes public conduct.

Words spoken in Congress are not casual conversation. They carry institutional weight.

This is particularly troubling given that Suntay, during his time in the Quezon City Council, was part of the body that passed the Gender and Development Code and the Bawal Bastos Ordinance, measures meant to address lewd, malicious, and demeaning remarks in public spaces.

Yet in the very institution responsible for crafting national policy, he narrated his sexual imagination about a woman. Clearly, he isn’t living what he preaches as a lawmaker.

A female representative later moved to have his statement stricken from the record. Despite this, Suntay insisted he had done nothing wrong. He even suggested that the actress should take the remark as a compliment.

This response reveals the deeper problem.

When men in positions of power publicly narrate their desire for women, three things happen.

First, it normalizes objectification.

Second, it blurs the line between private thought and public conduct.

Third, it signals that women’s bodies remain acceptable subjects of commentary even in political institutions.

This is not about attraction. Attraction is human.

But a lawmaker speaking in an official forum is not a private citizen in a casual setting. When he speaks, he does so with the authority of the institution he represents. His words help define the standards of conduct in public life.

Politics is not entertainment. And Congress is certainly not a locker room.

The fact that the woman mentioned is a public figure does not make the remark acceptable. Fame does not erase a woman’s right to dignity. Objectification does not become ethical simply because the woman is admired.

This incident was not a minor slip.

Language shapes behavior. The moment private thoughts are spoken in an official setting, they become public speech.

When we tolerate this kind of language in political spaces, we teach the next generation that it is acceptable in public life.

When those in power casually talk about sexual desire, objectification slowly becomes normalized.

And objectification should never be normal.

Without accountability, nothing changes.

After years of discussions about respect, representation, and women’s rights, one would hope we had moved forward. Yet progress, it seems, does not sustain itself without vigilance.

Public officials are entrusted with more than authority. They are expected to lead with dignity and restraint. When that standard collapses, laws and ordinances lose their meaning.

Because dignity is not negotiable.

And if Representative Suntay has any regard left for the office he holds, the honorable course would be to step down.

His response so far suggests otherwise.

I can only hope that the Congress Ethics Committee takes action for his crude and very unethical remarks on Ms. Curtis.

When Trust Becomes a Weapon

 I have written blogs on many topics since I started blogging two decades ago. Violence in any form, especially against women and children, affects me the most.

I recently came across the story of Gisèle Pelicot, who spent nearly fifty years with the man she believed was her loving husband. What happened inside that marriage is difficult to comprehend.

In 1973, Gisèle Pelicot married Dominique Pelicot. They were young when they began their life together and went on to raise children and share decades of family life. Their marriage looked like one that survived the usual challenges couples face.

To the outside world, nothing seemed unusual. Even Gisèle herself did not know for years what was happening behind closed doors.

Around 2011, nearly forty years after their wedding, Dominique Pelicot began drugging his wife. He crushed sedatives into her food and drinks and waited until she lost consciousness. Then he invited other men into their home to rape her while she lay heavily sedated. This continued for about nine years.

Dozens of men entered that bedroom. Many saw a woman who was clearly unconscious and proceeded anyway.

Gisèle did not know what he was doing to her. She experienced memory gaps, felt physically unwell, and woke up confused. Like many women, she searched for explanations that did not involve the man she trusted since 1973. When abuse comes from the person you love and trust most, your mind resists the truth.

The abuse did not stop because he confessed or because someone in the family discovered it. It stopped in 2020 when police arrested Dominique Pelicot for a separate crime. He was caught filming up women’s skirts in a supermarket. Police seized his electronic devices and discovered hundreds of videos documenting the assaults on his wife.

As the case unfolded, attention turned to their children. Public reports said there was no evidence the children knew what was happening to their mother at the time. There was also no evidence that they participated in the assaults against her. Investigators found troubling images involving two of the couple’s daughters on his devices, and authorities filed additional charges. The daughters publicly expressed their belief that he may have drugged and abused them as well, though the legal process examined those allegations separately.

The betrayal did not stop with the marriage. When their children learned what their father had done, their sense of safety and trust collapsed. Even though they did not know at the time, they now had to process the destruction of everything they believed about him. That kind of damage does not heal easily, and in some cases, it never fully heals.

The court prosecuted Dominique Pelicot. He admitted that he drugged his wife and organized the assaults. The court convicted him and sentenced him to 20 years in prison, the maximum sentence allowed under French law. His public image as a husband and father ended in that courtroom.

For Gisèle, and victims like her, recovery is far more complicated. Surviving something like this does not mean waking up one day and feeling strong. Recovery from this kind of betrayal and sexual violence requires trauma therapy, medical support, and the slow rebuilding of trust in oneself and others.

She chose to rebuild her life privately and focused on healing and on her children. She faced not only physical and emotional violation but also the collapse of a marriage that lasted nearly forty years before the abuse began. The children, now adults, supported their mother publicly and spoke about the shock, grief, and anger that followed the revelations. They confronted the reality that their father lived a very disturbing life.

Gisèle and her children now live away from him and try to move forward. They carry the weight of what happened, but they no longer live in silence.

What they went through reminds us that trust can be exploited. A marriage that lasted nearly fifty years concealed almost a decade of deliberate abuse. What happened between 2011 and 2020 will always remain part of their history, but we can refuse to ignore what this story reveals.

It should also remind us that abuse can quietly enter anyone’s life in many forms, gain our trust over years, and then shatter it.

If we truly want change, we must begin by taking these steps:

1. We can believe women when they describe confusion or unexplained harm.
2. We can take intimate partner violence seriously, even when it contradicts the image of a respectable family.
3. We can stop assuming that longevity equals trustworthiness.
4. We should be more aware that the misuse of God’s word to control or silence someone is still abuse. Faith should never become a tool for manipulation or fear.

When abuse is exposed, it rarely affects only one person. It often leaves an entire family trying to stand up again. Trust should never be used as a weapon. When someone betrays that trust, the responsibility belongs entirely to the one who caused the harm. At the same time, recognizing the abuse and reaching out for help is an important step toward safety and healing.

Sources:

New York Times – Coverage of the Gisèle Pelicot case: https://www.nytimes.com/

BBC News - Reporting on the Dominique Pelicot trial: https://www.bbc.com/news

France 24 – Trial and sentencing coverage: https://www.france24.com/

Reuters – Case and sentencing report: https://www.reuters.com/

When Silence Feels Easier—and Why It Isn’t

Author’s note: This is a piece I’ve carried for a long time, after spending time learning about female genital mutilation (FGM) and its impact. Writing it wasn’t easy, but it felt necessary. I’m sharing it in the hope that it invites openness rather than silence.

I’ve written about many social issues over the years. Speaking out through my blogs has been my way of expressing myself on issues I feel strongly about.

But this is one issue I had not written about before. Not on my blog, nor anywhere else.

Female genital mutilation was something I felt strongly about, yet for a long time I couldn’t express it openly. Not because it didn’t matter enough, but because it felt overwhelming in a way that was difficult to put into words. The reality of it was always there, even when I wasn’t writing about it. There was also a deep disbelief in me that something so horrendous was, and still is, happening to little girls.

But caring deeply, without speaking, does not stop violence.

This isn’t only about finding the right words. It’s also about what we do when something affects us so deeply that silence starts to feel like the easier option. It’s about recognizing that discomfort is often a sign that something needs to be named, not avoided.

If you are reading this, you may recognize that feeling too. The pause before speaking. The question of whether your voice will make a difference.

Know that it will.

Change does not begin with perfect language or expert knowledge. It begins when people refuse to normalize harm. When conversations happen inside families, when women speak to other women, when men listen, an when communities decide that protecting their daughters sometimes means changing long-held traditions.

Ending FGM requires laws, funding, and systems. It also requires voices that are willing to say clearly that this violence is not acceptable.

Organizations like UNICEF work alongside survivors and local leaders to end FGM and support those already affected. Supporting their work matters, and choosing not to look away when this issue comes up matters just as much.

You don’t have to be an expert or an eloquent speaker. You simply have to refuse silence when something you know is wrong. Because every time we choose not to speak, we leave more room for violence to continue.

This year alone, 4.5 million girls are counting on us to ensure they are not the next to be harmed.

Silence is no longer an option.

Sources and further reading

• UNICEF. Female Genital Mutilation: A Global Concern.
  https://www.unicef.org/protection/female-genital-mutilation
• UNICEF Press Release. Statement by UNICEF Executive Director Catherine Russell on the International Day of Zero Tolerance for FGM.
  https://www.unicef.org/press-releases/statement-unicef-executive-director-catherine-russell-international-day-zero
• World Health Organization. Female Genital Mutilation.
  https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/female-genital-mutilation

Fulfillment of a Lifelong Dream

On April 14, 2025, Amanda Nguyen made history as the first Vietnamese and Southeast Asian woman to journey into space. Aboard Blue Origin’s New Shepard rocket, she joined an all-female crew for a suborbital flight that soared beyond the Kármán line, the recognized boundary of space. 

Amanda Nguyen’s path to the stars was shaped by resilience and advocacy. In 2013, while pursuing her degree at Harvard University, she survived a sexual assault. This traumatic experience propelled her into activism, leading her to draft the Sexual Assault Survivors’ Bill of Rights, which was unanimously passed by the U.S. Congress in 2016. Her efforts earned her a nomination for the 2019 Nobel Peace Prize and recognition as one of TIME’s Women of the Year in 2022. 

Nguyen’s passion for space was reignited through her scientific pursuits. In 2021, she became a scientist-astronaut candidate at the International Institute of Astronautical Sciences, focusing on women’s health and menstruation in space. 

The Blue Origin NS-31 mission marked a significant milestone as the first all-female crewed spaceflight. Alongside Nguyen were pop star Katy Perry, journalist Gayle King, philanthropist Lauren Sánchez, former NASA rocket scientist Aisha Bowe, and film producer Kerianne Flynn. The mission lasted approximately 11 minutes, during which the crew experienced weightlessness and breathtaking views of Earth. 

During the flight, Nguyen conducted two scientific experiments: one in collaboration with the Vietnamese National Space Center on plant pathology, and another focusing on women’s health, specifically menstruation. 

Upon returning to Earth, Nguyen shared an emotional message:

“In this moment, I just want all survivors to know: You can heal. No dream is too wild, and if it’s so wild and out there — like going to space — you can absolutely make it through, and it can absolutely be possible.” 

Her words resonated with many, highlighting the intersection of personal healing and the pursuit of dreams.

Nguyen’s journey from advocacy to astronaut serves as an inspiration to many. Her story underscores the importance of resilience, determination, and the belief that no dream is too ambitious.

It Isn’t Over

Someone once said, in the early days of Covid, news about people with Covid had no faces because we didn’t know them.  Now their faces are clear because they live or work with or near us, and it’s scary.  No, not scary, but it hurts. 

As usual, at times like these, when someone I know passes away, I am again at a loss for how I should react or for the right words to say because words will not be enough for the loss of their loved ones. 

The last time I attended the wake of a friend’s relative, my friend and I  hugged tightly. In the early days of Covid, we couldn’t even visit...

The first time I heard several people I knew were Covid positive, I cried silently several times, worried about their health and families. I asked myself how and why this had to happen to them. I told myself I would not cry again. 

The second and third time I was told another batch got sick and one passed away, I didn't cry, but the hurt and helplessness were there. 

Then  another had to be quarantined...and another...and another.  It has  become a new normal that I   can only  sigh when I hear of the same news happening to other persons I know or work with. 

Some months back, a friend’s spouse passed away. We exchanged private messages. She said it was the 13th day she and her husband were separated since he was hospitalized, and that was the longest they were apart because they had always been together. How difficult it must be to suddenly realize the separation will now be forever...

The news of someone I knew passing away due to Covid and who I hugged a few times in the past gave me mixed emotions. Is it crying when the tears keep hovering at the corners of your eyes but never fall? These were moments when I felt extreme emotions of wanting to just be alone.

This “new normal” isn’t normal at all, but we all somehow have to deal with the dangers the best way we can and keep moving on.

Covid certainly isn’t over, but it has become a part of our daily lives, and regardless of new and better vaccines, we should never let our guard down and continue to take precautions as new variants are discovered. As I say in my messages, “Stay safe always.”

Starting to Write Again...with a personal commentary on the movie "Hello Love Goodbye"

It has been quite a while since my last blog entry. It’s about time I start and get a leash on things to make my daily activities more meaningful again. I miss writing.  I was supposed to post a new entry last International Women's Day  after so many years of inactivity but I never got to complete it. 

Well, who knew that Alden Richards' movie "Hello Love Goodbye" (with English subtitle) would trigger me to write again. Haha, The movie is good by the way.  It's a simple but moving story that depicts the real plight of Overseas Filipino Workers (OFW)  and what they have to go through to be able to support their families back home. It's about the realization that there is nothing wrong about choosing self-love and reaching for your dreams over love for another.  I'm sure many working overseas away from home and family can relate to the hardships they have to go through and the hard choices they sometimes have to make just to support their loved ones.

Since I am one who rarely watches local movies in cinemas, the movie is really that good for me to have watched it twice. It's really worth watching.

Thumbs up @aldenrichards02 and to your co-star Kathryn Bernardo. You both complemented each other really well  as Ethan and Joy. There could not have been a better team-up to make it this successful. Hoping to see more local quality films like this one. And THANK YOU for somehow being the catalyst to make me write again.

Road to 1 Billion

IT WAS A JOKE!

This rape joke by a Presidential candidate is making me so emotional. So here it goes.

This is a translated excerpt from a speech of a Mayor running for President about a rape victim: "I looked at the face, (swears) she's like a beautiful actress from America. (Swears) what a pity. What went on in my mind was, 'they raped her,  lined up for her.' I got mad because she was raped? Yes. That's one. But she's so beautiful. The Mayor should have been first. What a pity."  

It was a joke, the Mayor said after receiving flak from women and women's groups for making this statement about an Australian woman missionary raped in his city that went viral. 

I once thought that what he has done for his city is admirable. He fought rebels where ruling administrations had difficulty fighting. He had a reputation of supporting extrajudicial killings. Criminals feared him. His word was law and people followed. Whatever his flaws, I thought his track record of making his city clean and peaceful would have made up for them. But after pictures and videos showing his behavior with females in public came out, his hand touching/holding women in a manner that strangers normally  wouldn't, wanting to kiss them on the lips, and now his "joke" that the Mayor (implying himself) should have been first on the woman raped, made me completely turn around on my opinion of him. It was degrading how he objectified women. 

If he cannot lead by example that women should be treated with respect, then how can he possibly impose laws on sexual harassment or violence against women when he himself expresses acts that constitute and can even encourage others to think that sexual harassment or violence against women can be taken lightly? Rape is no joking matter and just because there are local ordinances existing or were first implemented in his city to protect women does not mean he supports women's rights but can joke about rape with triviality.

What saddens me even more is that the women's group who strongly advocates for women's rights and demanded him to apologize for his rape "joke" (which as of this writing he refused to do stating there is nothing to apologize for) is reported to still continue to support his candidacy. This kind of support made me question myself. 

Did I discern wrongly? Should I just close my eyes and throw out the window what I've always believed in and did volunteer work for all these years? If a strong women's group still continues to support his candidacy and will forego of his rape joke and vote for him why can't I? Some say he is a better choice over other candidates with reputations of being corrupt, weak and easily swayed, sickly, indecisive, etc. Who doesn't have flaws, they said. I'm sure their reputation, track record, strengths and weaknesses have been compared. 

Presidents will come and go and we have to keep moving on and continue to live our own lives. Change has to start with us, not with a President every six years. At the end of the day, we all have to live with our conscience and I would rather follow mine. I cannot in conscience vote for someone who thinks  rape can be taken lightly and joked about. So there. 

http://www.rappler.com/move-ph/129787-gabriela-duterte-apologize-rape-no-laughing-matter

"TODAY will never come again... Be a blessing. Be a friend. TAKE TIME TO CARE." - via THINK DIFFERENT

Just a quote to remind me that I can be strong...that I AM strong.

"I always told you that you are a strong woman and I always meant it, so I hope you started to believe in yourself..you can make it, everything you want, just believe in it and yourself. And my hopes and wishes for you are coming from my heart."

Social Ills...

"Babies for Sale" - is it just greed or dire need to survive that people can go so low as to steal babies or "breed" baby farms to sell them once they are born? It's nothing new these days. From Africa to Asian countries like the Philippines, Cambodia, India or Thailand, children are sold in exchange for money, to pay off debts or some other reason. A tv documentary in Manila recently featured two women whose newborn babies were stolen from a hospital. In Nigeria, a "baby farm" was raided where several women and babies were rescued by authorities. Young pregnant girls were being kept in the hospital or clinic until they gave birth and the babies were sold to the highest bidder. Babies stolen is one thing, but actually maintaining clinics or hospitals as "baby farms" to "breed" children for the purpose of selling them is just horrific. These children have no chance of defending themselves in their innocence.

Criminals continue to "innovate" and come up with other forms of crime, one more inhumane than another. Will they all end one day? I wonder. The social ills seem to be limitless. But as long as there are good hearts who persevere to put an end to the evils around us, each child man and woman victimized by greed and violence will have a chance of starting life anew. It often takes a concerted effort to be heard and for action to be taken. It's sad that many have to lose so much, sometimes even their very lives for this to happen.But we should never give up.We just could not. It is their only chance to be saved from being victims of our society's social ills..