I have two bachelor friends who I had discussions with on married women. I respect their beliefs and in both cases, I think my reaction would be the same.
One friend said, a woman who isn't living with the spouse in the true sense of the word, meaning not having a good intimate physical and emotional/spiritual relationship with the partner isn't married but single, and therefore free to have other relationships or partners. The woman being married is no issue to him and he's open-minded to a relationship with one.
Another friend said, getting involved with a married woman is taboo for him. I took that to be whether the woman was separated or not. I wouldn't have expected anything less from him. It was something I wasn't surprised about when he said it. It showed in our conversations. He was always careful not to insinuate or imply anything romantic in our talks. I guess that's why the friendship lasted this long and our past conversations were often long and friendly but caring.
To the first, even if I turn out to have a really bad marriage, I personally cannot see myself as single and getting involved so casually without considering others who may get affected and all the other possible consequences. There are always legal and moral considerations and so-called double standard in society. Our conversation last night ended with me saying that as long as I'm married or not separated, I can't see myself getting involved with anyone and complicating other people's lives.
The talk continued again this morning with a sudden, "so if u have sex outside a dead marriage - the sky will fall.:-l" Lol, gosh, he said I sounded like that. He said we weren't talking about society nor reforming it and to either rekindle the marriage or leave...Oh well, to cut things short, we still disagreed on things. We often did when it came to relationships with women though I agreed with his statement about either rekindling the marriage or leaving.
To the second, it wouldn't really be any different if I found myself falling for someone while being married. Like I said, the last thing I'd want is to complicate other people's lives, especially if I care so much for them. I'd protect his reputation and career first over my own personal happiness. So there's no question about getting myself involved with someone while being married or not separated...he deserves more and better than a complicated life with a married woman. He's right about not wanting to get involved with one and it makes me respect him more for it.
I remember both of them say something common or similar though. The children will be happier and better off if they see their mother smile more often...
I'm sure they'll both meet the right woman one day and be swept off their feet. I hope they remember to woo and court her to win her love and respect because some just won't come running to them with open arms...
One friend said, a woman who isn't living with the spouse in the true sense of the word, meaning not having a good intimate physical and emotional/spiritual relationship with the partner isn't married but single, and therefore free to have other relationships or partners. The woman being married is no issue to him and he's open-minded to a relationship with one.
Another friend said, getting involved with a married woman is taboo for him. I took that to be whether the woman was separated or not. I wouldn't have expected anything less from him. It was something I wasn't surprised about when he said it. It showed in our conversations. He was always careful not to insinuate or imply anything romantic in our talks. I guess that's why the friendship lasted this long and our past conversations were often long and friendly but caring.
To the first, even if I turn out to have a really bad marriage, I personally cannot see myself as single and getting involved so casually without considering others who may get affected and all the other possible consequences. There are always legal and moral considerations and so-called double standard in society. Our conversation last night ended with me saying that as long as I'm married or not separated, I can't see myself getting involved with anyone and complicating other people's lives.
The talk continued again this morning with a sudden, "so if u have sex outside a dead marriage - the sky will fall.:-l" Lol, gosh, he said I sounded like that. He said we weren't talking about society nor reforming it and to either rekindle the marriage or leave...Oh well, to cut things short, we still disagreed on things. We often did when it came to relationships with women though I agreed with his statement about either rekindling the marriage or leaving.
To the second, it wouldn't really be any different if I found myself falling for someone while being married. Like I said, the last thing I'd want is to complicate other people's lives, especially if I care so much for them. I'd protect his reputation and career first over my own personal happiness. So there's no question about getting myself involved with someone while being married or not separated...he deserves more and better than a complicated life with a married woman. He's right about not wanting to get involved with one and it makes me respect him more for it.
I remember both of them say something common or similar though. The children will be happier and better off if they see their mother smile more often...
I'm sure they'll both meet the right woman one day and be swept off their feet. I hope they remember to woo and court her to win her love and respect because some just won't come running to them with open arms...
2 comments:
Interesting post, I actually enjoy being single, quite a lot of my friends, most in fact are married - not all if any of them I would consider happily married. I don't see a lot of really happy marriages today for some reason.
The whole marriage thing kinda scares me a little. I cannot see myself being married anytime soon, I just love the whole freedom thing and not having extra responsibilities except for myself.
Great post :)
Matt, stay single then and enjoy every minute of it.:)
All the responsibilities of being married will really turn your life around. When I was a child, I more than once heard parents say, their responsibility ends when the kids finish college. But that really isn't so. Parents will always worry about their children. It's a lifetime of responsibility...only lesser as they grow older.
But ohhhh, poor girl you're dating if she expects more than just dating you regularly:P
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